If I never see you again,
OLD VERSION
No matter what they say
At least I know,
In that moment when the air swirled around us
Near the top of the City
And we laughed at ourselves through the cold,
I felt seen.
I’m holding
Your face in my mind,
With life rushing behind
We, an orange blur up the coast line.
I wasted all your camera on blurry stills of golden hills
So we had to drink the rest in with our eyes.
In matching jackets,
We hailed the trolley that was only going to Chinatown
Then walked more than three miles
Freezing and blistering,
Past houses and pizzas and hat shops and hobos
All smooshed together.
I read your palm before dinner,
And wondered if I’d see myself in it.
You left me with something like wonder
It wasn’t just the feel of your skin,
Or being warm again
Or even the thrill of your thumb on my side.
Or the way you let me gently guide
Your hands.
It was, “Don’t think, do.”
And I let myself do
And it was the most beautiful part when you laughed.
And if I never see you again,
All I mean to say is thanks.
And I hope I can keep
That feeling of being alive
The boundlessness of living
For a brief moment
By your side.
No matter what they say
I had a remarkable time
This life is full of twists and turns
If I never speak to you again
At least I know
That at that moment, when the air swirled around us
And we laughed at ourselves,
You saw me
No matter what they say
I enjoyed the feel of your skin
I feel awakened
Inspired
Incredible
Like, how did I ever settle for less?
How did I let myself
get torn and pulled and twisted
In every direction
But the one I really wanted.
Your face in my mind, with the ever moving backdrop of life
rushing behind as we sped through the state
As we hailed the trolley that was only going to Chinatown
We walked more than three miles
And I was freezing
But it was worth the momentary goosebumps
I know what I want.
As a girl, this part is chemicals
But so beautiful.
If I never see you again,
All I mean to say is thanks.
All I want to take from this
Is that feeling of being alive
The calm before the storm
The timelessness of living
For a brief moment
By your side.
